If you were born in the 90s, come let's laugh together

Rubber band was our medium of exchange in those days. Having bundles of rubber band in stock was equal to having millions in your bank account. I lie?

See, I remembered using rubber to collect food items from my neigbour's children, especially those whose mother were selling "eja yinyan" or roasted fishes. My cousin would give up his food for me because of a dozen rubber band around my wrist. A trade by barter.😅😅😅

We heard of devilish people who trapped children with rubber band for ritual purpose. We learnt about our mates who were turned to yam in orita meta or road intersections when picking up a rubber. Maybe those stories were fabricated. But we believed them, so we were warned by our parents not to pick up rubber on the ground. However, some stubborn kids would urinate on the rubber band before picking them. As legend would have it, urine could prevent any bad luck.

The champions at winning rubbers were held in high regards like celebrities. We hyped them on the street. We called the champions in street A to compete with champions in street B. It was fun.

One thing about kite was having bundle of thread.

Making of kites with graceful flight required special skills. Some children had Masters and Phd at making kites.

We used to buy dozens of thread with our food money and join them till it became so full. We wanted our kite to sail high till it reduced to a dot in the sky or seen no more. We wanted the kite to travel far. One of my mates told me he flew a kite from our house in Sango Ota and it was seen high up by a friend in Lagos. As children we believed all these things.

We learnt big, big words in the dictionary to include in love letters. Girls of those days were excited by grammar. Haha. We memorized sweet words to write in love letter more than our classroom subjects. We qualified the girls with sugar, butter, roses, butterflies etc more than children of 21st century. The dustbin would be filled to the brim before we composed a perfect love letter. Some people begged the professional love letter writers among their peers. They even paid them. Those were good old days when getting a girl had a lot of "Try agains" like sitting for JAMB.

Girl's reply was always full of insults. But if she liked you already, you won a jackpot. She would reply with sweet words as well. Most times, these girls would insult you even if they liked you. Of course, they would play hard to get.

 So after she has received the letter and we didn't get a reply, we began to fret and feel shy around them. Your friends would push you to ask her if she has seen the letter and what she feels about you. Or you start proposing to her orally. But since this was a daunting task, your friends would boost your moral. Moral high! Moral high!!

Boat was one of the leading paper craft by children of the 90s. We made a varieties of boat. It was an enviable skill to make a boat that would sit comfortably in a pool of water. We sailed these boats mostly in a flood after heavy rain. We watched as our boat sailed away and we might as well send the boats a message to God by dropping a letter inside them.

Share with your friends and laugh together.

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Your stubborn child is prone to be more successful. Check out the facts.

When a child is stubborn, he/she is prone to be more successful. If your child is strong-willed or hardheaded, don't despair.


You are probably weary of that child and you are so frustrated and forced to say "I don't think I am the one that gave birth to you sef. Maybe they gave me the wrong baby in the hospital. You don't hear word!"


Most parents are struggling with this. In some children, stubbornness can be curbed to a minimal level through continous scolding and beating.


But when you see a child who does not want to yield despite using our African restore-back-to-factory reset weapons such as cane, spanks etc, don't worry too much. Most of these kids have their own good sides which can be nurtured through proper guidance and patience.


You just have to be careful as a parent to do away with any harmful things around the house.

Because If you ask them not to touch that thing, they would go right to that thing and be like "What exactly will happen if I dare it?"


The same way they attempt things that people of their age group find daunting or too tasking. They walk straight out of the box. They pursue their goals. They are resilient; relentless in their pursuits.


(Their counterparts who are passive or quiet are also goal getters, scholars but the stubborn ones are too fond of pushing beyond the boundary)


As they grow up into adolescent age, and as a student, the common traits exhibited by such kids include, rule breaking, defiance, Inattentiveness and impatience.


"The study published in the Development Psychology journal, followed 700 children from the age of 12 to 52. It looked at how behaviour in late childhood could predict participants' success later in life and whether or not stubbornness was a factor in achieving throughout adult careers."

"The team then examined which personality traits were most common in the children who grew up to be the most successful.
The results showed that children who frequently broke the rules, defied their parent and were a responsible student were the ones who went on to be high achievers and earn the most in their careers."



The quoted statement was issued by a English researcher, Emma Henderson | Twitter @Emmalouisehendy

Wake up, African men! See the 8 ways you can save your 21st century marriage

Whether you like it or not, as a man of African descent, you need to accept the fact that relationship is not what it used to be in the times of our forefathers. Here are the ways you can tell if you are the cause of the problem in your marriage.


1. Appearance


A 21st century African lady cares much more about her appearance. That is why you would find make-up kits in their handbags. They are inclined to displaying their "assets", though not entirely, when they are married. It makes them feel good when a man glances back at them and drool. It boosts their self-esteem and they want to gist their husband about it, so he wouldn't take them for granted. They want to tell him how a man has stared at them till he stumbled into a roadside drainage.

A way to say "Hey, Mr man, just count yourself lucky for having me all to yourself."

The 21st century women are influenced by their role models; the sophisticated female artistes, the models, and actresses, who, irrespective of their marital statuses, dress to "kill". Unlike the historical African women, western culture has prevailed over the African culture. Some men restrict their women's provocative dressings to the confinement of their homes, except in cases they are going out together. It might strike some conflicts, except of course if the woman is our "Sister" in the Lord.

As an African man, you have to adjust to this trend. All you need is build some trusts with your woman. Even some modest or religious dressers hide behind the cloak of decency to fornicate. Don't confuse modesty for faithfulness.

2. Career

As a man, it is advisable you don't share in the archaic belief or slogan that a woman only belongs to the kitchen and "zi-oza room." Haha. It is an insult to the 21st century women. This is an era when women want to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with men in every endeavour of life. Women don't want to be subjected to the task of caring for children and domestic chores alone; they have big dreams just like you. A dream to become great and be adored like those larger than life figures they see on TV screen and international magazines. A typical 21st century woman want to be independent. They want to be highly educated like their man. So don't make the mistake of caging a 21st century woman like a goat. Modern women generally want to convince the world that what a man can do they can outdo it, which is very close to reality now. Women are of course making waves in political arena. You can check here for some list of great women leaders.


3. Jealousy/insecurity.

The 21st century African women are equally jealous as the historical women. But advancement in technology makes the modern woman become more alert. Don't take up an offence when she scrolls through your mobile phone if you want peace to reign. Women don't really feel secure anymore (men are worse but wouldn't admit) because they know what is happening in the age of internet. People steal your heart at a glimpse with the exhibition of mouth-watering "assets" on social media. Some 21st century women would check the profile of a handsome dude on social media and shoot their shots without hesitation. The women, few of them, knows better than to get close to their man's mobile phone to avoid a heart attack. As a man, tell your woman something sweet like:

"Omolola, you are the best thing that ever happens to me."

Tell her that any intimate conversation she ever encounters between you and other women on your phone is you catching fun and "nothing" more. Tell her that no one can take her place, even if you are surrounded by a million women. After all, you can't do without chatting up an opposite sex. It would make her feel secure at least. A woman likes to be placed so high or prioritized. So do just that and mean it!

4. Love-making

A 21st century woman has gone wild when it comes to love making. They are bored with old styles. The "world" itself is getting bored and so it spins surprises at us, like rain falling at abnormal period of the year, same applicable to other climates. Women don't want a man that pounces on them like a chicken and gets off as quickly. That's very selfish.

Ancient African woman were only accustomed to one love-making style. A man on top, missionary, which in fact symbolized the supremacy of a man over their women in African society. Now, women aspire to dominate, just like they do in their various careers. They want to be on top. If an ancient African woman had suggested this style to her man, she would be labelled a prostitute. Most significantly, a modern woman's body needs to be worshipped, from the tip of her toes to her crotch, up to her torso. Let her spirit lift and travel uphill. Learn to know her "alarm bottons". Let the fountain flow from her spring and show that you value her body. Kiss her "downside lips" as much as you would her normal lips. Do it passionately. Explore. Make love anywhere in the house, in the kitchen, against the wall, use the floor, the stair case, the bathroom. Let it be fun that it is. With this, a modern woman would think twice before divorcing you in any circumstances.

5. Gisting and catching fun


A 21st century woman don't want a man who only smiles when he wants to make love. They want to rub minds with you and air their grievances. They want to gist you about their interests. Don't be a dragon of a husband whose presence would make a wife and children recoil like frightened cats.

Women want to gossip with you about anything. Most amiable couples are gossipers in nature. Funny, isn't? Most women now wants a man that can play with them like kids do, which was considered insane in ancient African society. Only a few couple did that in the confinement of their chambers in those days. The modern women want their hubbies to sneak up on them from behind in the kitchen and tickle them or grab their waists; pillow fights etc.

Modern women have always dreamt to play the perfect love role they watch on Hollywood and Bollywood movies. They especially envy the European way of life, which has come to stay. If a man can spare his time for this, his marriage is bound to last forever. Take your woman out, like you always did during your courtship.


6. Ego

At the beginning, you must have let her learn your likes and dislikes. You can reproach her gently whenever she oversteps that boundary. Let her know that no one is perfect, but she has to be apologetic. Some modern women have bloated egos. So this is a way to curtail it. You just need to admit to your own mistakes as well. Respect her. The submission would come naturally. Reciprocate the "sorry" language. It shows that you care about each other's feelings. We were all raised in different homes, from different backgrounds. Learn to deal with her demon, for every woman has their natural demon.


7. The financial aspect

A 21st century woman don't want a man that always hides his financial status. Be open sometimes even if you are secretive. They don't want a man who imposes it on them to pay their children's school fees just because they are well paid at their workplace. If she must take such responsibility, it should be a voluntary act or when the husband is financially incapable. They want a man who knows his right/responsibility in the house. They want you to indulge them with gifts if you are a rich husband. Most of them are fashion freaks. They want jewelry and the new shoes they have come across on fashion mags. As a man, you need to take them out for shopping. Surprise them. Every woman likes surprises, no matter how little the gift. Most 21st century women get fretful or impatient when you are financially down. If you are qualified in the item 4 (Love-making) a woman would still endure.

8. Privacy/breathing space

Everyone needs a time alone. As a husband you need to understand your woman. Don't force yourself on her when she doesn't feel like playing with you or having intercourse with you. Just give her some time. It may take some hours, sometimes a whole day. She may be moody. We all have things that suddenly turn us to a calm pool of water. Sometimes it's our spirit that just demands the distance, not out body. That is why we are humans. Though, this state of mind and soul is always mistaken for a kind of irritation or quarrel against the other person.









Thanks for taking your time to read through. May we all have a happy and fulfilling home. You are free to share your views. Follow on tweeter @Tokst_ar

How to make your online dating end up in marriage

Love is very sweet. Love is the greatest thing in the world, yet love is like a boiling water which must be handled with carefulness lest it splashes and leave an everlasting scar.


Almost everyone has that online girl or boy who is the reason of our online presence. Some of us don't have only one because we don't want the fatal heartbreaks that come with love (Except we are on casual relationship). Many even break up online without seeing at all. Yet this online love is two years old or more.


Here are the things to keep in mind when you want that your online damsel and that handsome dude to be your dream come true.


Expect less


Expect less. Don't think people's real life image would always mirror their online image. During a date, If the person is more gorgeous, beautiful or handsome, than expected, it's a bonus. Programme your mind to a minimal level. We always make the mistake of taking our imagination too far when we meet that Miss Beauty or Mr. handsome on Facebook, IG and other social platforms. I have met people who are finer than their dp. And likewise people that are nothing compared to what I see on the online photo album. That is called "camera injustice"

Phone camera is a weird gadget. Let us not mention the crazy filter apps churned up on Google play store. Video chat creates better justice to our real look more than snapshot.

Have you ever taken a selfie that looked more like who you wished you are rather than your true self even without applying filter. And "click" we save it and smile...Hmmmn. see me o. See beauty?...Oh see fine boy.

Camera or filter, especially, lies to us and we love the way it lies. Rihanna should make a remix of "I love the way you lie" for filters. It doesn't mean that Camera doesn't tell the truth. Of course, it does. Note that everyone is beautiful in their own way. The most valuable beauty is inside us. Our asset or intellect or moral value are examples of inner beauty.

So everyone posts their best look online, male and female alike.




True Identity


While online, we interview each other on several events that shape our lives to what is it today.

We chat from 8pm to 3am and even more. The realization of the flying time would shock us.

He would be like "Just now, 3am?"

And she would be equally surprised she has stayed that long online chatting you. That is chemistry. It is an unconscious thing. Two hearts merging to become one. But in all these interviews, or interaction, remember to be truthful in everything you say. Financial status, location, family etc. Sometimes we lie to save face. But be 95% honest if not 100%. Don't forget to mention your height, 5ft or 6? Because this is one of the illusions camera make.

This is common to the female folks. Most ladies are infatuated over height.

When you finally meet, she would be like "I thought he is even taller than this?" This may let the feeling dwindle right away. This is one of the features of high expectation.


With all these things at the back of your mind, there is a high chance that your intimacy would be strengthened and you can get married if that is your intention.



A similar post  Wake up African men! See the 8 ways you can save your 21st century marriage